


more than you think

by brainrvtz



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Sex, Inspired by Music, Lowercase, M/M, Mentioned Akaashi Keiji, Sort Of, no beta cuz i’m insecure lmao, they work it out tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29094585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainrvtz/pseuds/brainrvtz
Summary: it sounded so natural, as if bokuto didn’t even need to think about it. didn’t need to give it a second thought, because he loved him. bokuto loved akaashi.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 25





	more than you think

“i don’t really give a damn about the way you touch me when we’re alone.”

kuroo looked up.

the face of the boy he loved was all he could see, tears were rolling freely, falling and wetting the hem of his t-shirt,

kuroo’s t-shirt.

he looked away.

bokuto grabbed his hand.

“you can hold my hand if no one’s home? what? are you ashamed of me? of  us? ”

his throat constricted, what could he say? 

he didn’t know, so he yanked his hand away, earning a barely audible gasp from the older.

“i said, i can’t do this anymore. we can’t keep doing this, we can’t keep fucking.”

the words hurt him to say, but he couldn’t keep doing this to himself. not when he knew he wanted more than bokuto could give.

kuroo could hear a shaky exhale from bokuto, and the squeak of sneakers against the gymnasium floor.

“fucking. is that what this is? is that i am to you? just some cheap lay that you can throw out whenever you please. we’re friends, right?”

_ friends . _ the word made him wince, he wasn’t a cheap fuck, they were friends, of course. but he wanted more. he wanted to tell him that all the sweaty nights spent under white sheets, in the cover of darkness, meant something more. but he didn’t. 

because bokuto didn’t want him, he knew that.

“i know we said we would stop if the other wanted to but... there’s something more going on here, right? you’ve been avoiding me and i just want to know why. please.”

bokuto didn’t sound angry anymore, just defeated. it made something ugly in kuroo’s gut twist.

“you love him,” kuroo finally looked up.

“what?”

“you love him,” kuroo repeated himself.

“akaashi.” the name felt bitter on his tongue.

“of course.”

it sounded so  _natural_ _,_ as if bokuto didn’t even need to think about it. didn’t need to give it a second thought, because he loved him. bokuto loved akaashi. 

he ducked his head again, fists clenching at his sides. 

his throat burned.

he lets out an ugly cough, bokuto was saying something, he didn’t know what, but he could hear the panic in his voice.

he looks down, 

a single yellow petal. it’s a daffodil, he recognizes it from a book he’d gotten his dad a couple months ago.

he remembers their meaning.

_unrequited love._

it’s fitting isn’t it?

kuroo doesn’t look up, but he knows bokuto had come closer when he can feel his breath on his cheek, and he swallows.

“tetsurou?” 

kuroo looked up, he could see the tears in bokuto’s eyes, cheeks red.

“this is... because of me, right?”

he only nodded.

“i’m in love with you.”

kuroo’s eyes widened, breath quickening as he stared at his friend.

“i do love akaashi,” bokuto kept his eyes on his shoes. 

“but not in that way.”

he just stares, unable to find the words to say.

“i— i’m so sorry, tetsurou. you’re in pain, and this is all my fault because i couldn’t just tell you how i felt and oh my god what if i never did and you died, and what if—“

“oh my god shut up, you idiot.” bokuto’s rambling was cut off when kuroo surged forward, holding his friend’s face in his hands, and catching his lips in a kiss.

it tasted bitter, like blood, and kuroo thinks they still have lots to say, but they’ll work it out.

he knows.

and he’d do anything to see the smile on bokuto’s face everyday, for him, and him only.

because he wants bokuto to be his,

and kuroo’s never been anyone else’s.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was originally inspired by ‘line without a hook’ by ricky montgomery, because my boyfriend suggested i write a fic based off of it. sooo this happened ig? hanahaki is a pain to read and write but i love it :(( i hope everyone enjoys and please feel free to comment!!!


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